Ever since last writing, I have been catching up with things that need attention. So, I called up several of the people that
have been a part of this column, and when I turned my Rolodex over to the Ss, there was a name that hasnt been in this column
in a while, my beloved Swamee. Ever since he has appeared in this column, he has been through some good times and some bad
times with the wrestling business. Very few know that Swamee wanted to be a wrestler, but he had one small problem, he was
petrified of people hurting him. Go figure, but he decided to turn his mind, and his crystal ball, over to predicting pay-per-view
matches. So, I decided to call him up at his Vegas number and see how he has been doing. Here is the conversation that took
place several days ago.
Lekisha: Hello, Swamee, is that you?
Swamee: Hey-llooooo, Kisha, is that you?
Lekisha: Yeah it is. You okay?
Swamee: Yep, doing just wonderful. Lounging by the pool. You?
Working, like you should be. Where in the world have you been? Ive tried your cell to check on ya, but all I got was the
Swamee: Well, Kish, (laughing) Im not talking very much as of late. Been in hiding, after I won
big at Caesars Palace, the ex-wife has been bugging me about coming back to her and yada yada yada. So I checked the messages
and saw that you had called, so I left my new number with your secretary.
Lekisha: Which one? The new one or the
Swamee: The old one.
Lekisha: No wonder I didnt get it, she was fired a few months ago. Was not helping
whatsoever and so I let her go. Surprised she didnt burn down the place. But I needed to talk with you about the upcoming
pay-per-view. You following everything?
Swamee: About as much as can be expected. Im out shopping all day and partying
Lekisha: Youre partying now? Dude, its eleven in the morning.
Swamee: Yeah, and?
Never mind. I was going to talk with you about the whole thing. You okay, no fuzzy mind or Fuzzy Navel over there?
Nah, not yet. The Fuzzy Navel is after lunch.
Lekisha: Whatever, hun. But your crystal ball handy?
Yeah, its in the living room, under the couch, let me go get it.
(I hold for him to come back, but there was a loud
crash in the background.)
Lekisha: What the what was that?
Swamee: Just kicking the stuff off of it and knocked
over the coffee table.
Lekisha: Good grief man. You all plugged in?
Swamee: Yep. All set. Lets roll, hun.
Lekisha: Okay, and dont call me hun, hun.
Swamee: Oh funny. Whos up first?
Um, heres what I have. First match is a Tag Team Turmoil Match. Six teams in total. Two teams start out first, the losing
team leaves with the next team coming up to work with the team that just won the last match. All that until the last team.
Swamee: Okay I got the jist of the idea. Now, whos in it?
Lekisha: From what I have, its going to be the Hardyz,
the Dudleyz, Lance Storm and Christian, Albert and Scotty Too Hotty, APA, and last but not least, Billy and Chucky.
Theyre in it? Good lord, why didnt they change their names to Gary and Ace?
Lekisha: Got me, trying not to piss
off Lorne Micheals, maybe. But Ive got down the Hardyz. Just a Hardyz fan that comes out every once in a while.
(Sighs). Hardyz fan, my foot. Well, depending on where who starts where, Im picking APA. These guys havent had a title
in a long time. So Im going with them. Okay, what have we got next?
Lekisha: Well, next up on my list is Edge
and William Regal. The whole brass knux on a pole match. Im going with Edge on this one.
Swamee: Sounds familiar.
You and those long haired men.
Lekisha: Oh shut up. (Laughs) Who are you going with?
Swamee: The long-haired
man. Im picking Edge too.
Lekisha: Shock me. But lets keep on track. Im running low on tape here. Booker T and
Test against Tazz and Spike for the belts. Im going with Booker and Test.
Swamee: Never thought this day would come,
but Im going with Spike and Tazz on this one. You know it pains me to go with Tazz.
Lekisha: I know, but youll
get over the haircut you copied one day.
Swamee: One day?! Come on woman, the stuff aint never growing back.
Okay, I know. Calm down. Next up, RVD and Golddust. Okay, Im starting to see what you mean about the hair guys, I picked
RVD on this one.
Swamee: See what I mean, you and that guy of yours need to talk about him growing out his hair.
Lekisha: Hush on that one. Im not letting that out of the bag yet. But whats your pick?
Swamee: Okay, Ill drop
it. Golddust on this one. Goldie Boy has been gone from TV far too long. So, Im going with him.
Lekisha: Im starting
to see you have a thing for bald dudes.
Swamee: Nah, they can get it right.
Lekisha: Okay, there are still
three more to go. Rock vs. Taker in a Special grudge match. Please. The only grudge there is whos getting more tv time.
But someone I know said that the NOW would show up in this one. Make into a good match at WM8. Im picking Taker on this
one, just cause its Taker.
Swamee: You know Im a Rock fan from WAYYYYY back. So Im going with him, but watch out for
the terrible two.
Lekisha: Wouldnt surprise me any. But last two. Triple H and Angle with Steph as the guest ref.
I love Trip as of late. Hes got more focus than usual, plus it would be cool to see him make it to WM8 for the title. Austin
did it a while back, so why not Trip.
Swamee: Okay, I see your point on that one. Trip it is. But watch for Hogan and
Steph. Those two are the ones that will decide this match.
Lekisha: And last but not least, Chris Jericho and Steve
Austin. My guy CJ on this one.
Swamee: Any reason?
Lekisha: Well, nah, just rather see him have the belts
going into WM instead of Austin. Hes had his WM. Its Chriss turn.
Swamee: Im going with him too. Chris has just about
had the belt long enough to pass off at Mania. I give it until then to loose the thing.
Lekisha: So youre actually
agreeing with me on several of these things? You sick?
Swamee: Nah, just not fighting with ya this time. Just nice
to be back. Youve been gone too long. You need to really get a vacation from that other job and that planning of that thing.
Lekisha: I said dont go there, but good idea for the vacation. But it is good to have some control back on my creativity.
Been gone way to long. Found it at the bottom of a long hole. But its better. So, anything else that you want to say to
everyone before I get back to work?
Swamee: Yeah, I have a new email address. Its now, email@example.com
been too long between calls, so if you would like, call me for WrestleMania and well see what we can do.
Its a date. But set ya for next month. Week before the thing. Thanks a lot.
Swamee: Thanks. Laters.
I think everyone can tell that Swamees missed everyone. Make sure to drop him a line at his address firstname.lastname@example.org
As for this weeks question of the week, what is your opinion of the NOW being put back into the wrestling/sports
entertainment equation? Email your answers to me at email@example.com
Until next time, stay safe.