A challenge has been lain down and a challenge has been accepted. Earlier this week, one of my fellow writers, Jeff Docherty, sent out his column for "The Twisted Microphone". Contained in that column there was a challenge made to Belle of the Brawls own Swamee. Well, after playing email tag with Swamee over the past week, I have finally gotten him on the phone. The following is the conversation that took place.
Lekisha Oliver (BB): Hello?
Swamee: Kisha, is that you?
BB: Of course its me. Why havent you answered my phone calls?
Swamee: Been extremely busy working on a project of sorts.
BB: Project? Is that what you are calling it now?
Swamee: Yes. Its a project. Plain and simple. Nothing more.
BB: Okay, you know you have been challenged. We have got to talk and get this done, whichs why I called you earlier to set it up. Either way, sit down.
Swamee: Fine. But you have five minutes. What did this person want to know besides what size shoe I wear?
BB: Well, not only does he call you a fraud, he has called you out, which youve been told about.
Swamee: So what. Thats supposed to mean something to the great and powerful Swamee? Hes just a weakling beneath my feet. Why should I care what this whoevers name is says or thinks? I dont.
BB: Swamee, you really need to answer this one. Last week you said that it was a showdown and that you were ready to take him on. What have you done found a paintbrush with yellow paint on it?
Swamee: No I have not, youngUN.
BB: Dont call me that!
Swamee: Excuse me, Miss Emotional. What side of whose bed did you wake up on this morning?
BB: Look I want to get this over with as soon as possible. We have at the moment around nine to ten matches. Want to get started?
Swamee: Why not. Im not doing anything too pressing besides trying to get out of the house. Whos first?
BB: By the looks of SmackDown!, its going to be Christian and Diamond Dallas Page.
Swamee: Christian or Smiley? Oh excuse me, Page. Hmmmthats a tough one, PLEASE. Im going with Smiley on this one.
BB: Any reason why?
Swamee: Nah, Page is just as good as he says he is.
BB: Well see. Four-way tag match is up next.
Swamee: What else is new, cant they go back to one team on another, Im tired of these matches.
BB: Oh give it a rest will ya. Geez. Who will ya go with between the APA, the Hardyz, the Dudleys and the defending champs, Billy and Chuck.
Swamee: The Dudleys have had their belts this year, so have the Hardys. Billy and Chuck have them now and APA hasnt had a belt between them since a Democrat was in the White House, so Im going with Billy and Chuck or should I saw Ace and Gary.
BB: Can we leave the sarcasm out of at least one answer?
Swamee: Nah, I like to make ya mad.
BB: Whatever. Ladies match up next. Trish, Lita and Jazz with Jazz with the belt.
Swamee: Cat fight! Cat fight! Tearing clothes off! Tear off Trishs! I want Trish to win.
BB: Cold shower much?
Swamee: Nah, she just looks like my current girlfriend.
BB: RVD versus Regal for the IC belt.
Swamee: Mr. Pay-Per-View versus the Power of the Punch? Hands down, RVD, baby!
BB: Kane and Angle?
Swamee: What do you think Ive lost my touch?
BB: You want the truth?
Swamee: Shut it woman! Kanes winning it.
BB: Fine, Booker and Edge?
Swamee: Booker of course. This powerhouse of a man, just like me, over pretty boy Edge.
BB: Austin and Hall?
Swamee: Austin. That beer-swelling buffoon has made all the buffoons famous. Plus Hall is washed up anyway.
BB: Undertaker and Flair?
Swamee: Flair! All the way! No question, Takers going down this year.
BB: Rock and Hogan?
Swamee: The future always wins over the past. Rocks got it all. Hes stronger than Hogan, more famous that Hogan and his one movie has grossed more money than all of Hogans movies put together.
BB: Last one.
BB: Yeah. I know youre busy. Chris Jericho versus Triple H for the Undisputed Belts.
Swamee: I am busy, thank you and Im picking Triple H on this one. So whoever, Mr. Prediction I think thats what his name was, can take that from my crystal ball. You can tell him that, woman.
BB: Stop calling me that! Youre really starting to make me mad, man.
Swamee: Who cares, I run this column, not you. You just happen to write the stuff in between me.
BB: Oh really, without me you wouldnt be here.
Swamee: You are only a passing fad, the Swamee is here to stay!
BB: Not in this column you arent! If you dont get this right, youre not coming back. Thats plain and simple. Ive had plenty of complaints about you and from you. So its either sink or swim time with you buddy.
Swamee: Ill just come out on my own and take over the world.
BB: Yeah sure that will happen.
As it appears this is the last time well see Swamee, if he doesnt get this right. I must apologize for this verbal problem. I hope that everyone enjoys WrestleMania.
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